End of School Blues

Son to mom: I need $60 for Cedar Point. I need $10 for DIA trip. I need $1 for Cinco De Mayo celebration in Spanish class. and I need money for the CF walk at school. After thinking about this I made up my own list: I need to be able to go out and dance and have fun without falling asleep at 1100. I need a new car with free gas. I need less work and more money. I need my metabolism from when I was 20. I need a chef, a maid, and a personal assistant. (According to the husband someone to swat cookies from my hands.) and I need Ty Pennington to do some work at my house without a shirt on. And now back to reality... I will fall asleep on the way home from the club at 9:30 I will drive home from the club in my way old mini van I work more for less money I drink lite beer and screw the metabolism I cook, clean and keep the family on track I beg my husband to do anything and keep his shirt on. Sounds like fun

Snort Patrol

The Girl has her own way of trying to confound and confuse me. She talks excessively without actually saying much. She removed a red sheet of paper from her backpack and informed me I had to sign it. When I asked what it was and why I had to sign it, I received a dissertation longer than the Gettysburg address. Halfway through it, I was mentally fading away. This technique actually works when employed properly. However, much to the Girl's chagrin, I am a morning person and have my wits about me (along with some coffee) in the morning. I had her stop and just give the facts ma'am. Here is the story, reader's digest version: She was in the hallway at school lining up to go somewhere and began snorting loudly, which she proudly demonstrated for me. Her teacher gave her a focus sheet for being loud and disruptive in the hallway, the nerve of that woman. A focus sheet is the precursor to detention, so this is a serious matter. I found out that she was not the only one snorting, several of her friends were snorting along in a chorus of porcine noises. I signed the sheet and she went on her merry way. I just hope she doesn't become known as the freaky girl who snorts.