Snort Patrol

The Girl has her own way of trying to confound and confuse me. She talks excessively without actually saying much. She removed a red sheet of paper from her backpack and informed me I had to sign it. When I asked what it was and why I had to sign it, I received a dissertation longer than the Gettysburg address. Halfway through it, I was mentally fading away. This technique actually works when employed properly. However, much to the Girl's chagrin, I am a morning person and have my wits about me (along with some coffee) in the morning. I had her stop and just give the facts ma'am. Here is the story, reader's digest version: She was in the hallway at school lining up to go somewhere and began snorting loudly, which she proudly demonstrated for me. Her teacher gave her a focus sheet for being loud and disruptive in the hallway, the nerve of that woman. A focus sheet is the precursor to detention, so this is a serious matter. I found out that she was not the only one snorting, several of her friends were snorting along in a chorus of porcine noises. I signed the sheet and she went on her merry way. I just hope she doesn't become known as the freaky girl who snorts.