Axe Murderer

The boy is fond of using Axe body spray deodorant after a shower, which is usually a good thing. This morning, I walked upstairs and was nearly asphyxiated by the overwhelming smell of way too much Axe. This conversation followed:
Me: Son, you are using way too much spray. Just a quick spritz under each arm is good.
Boy: No dad, the can says it's an all-over body spray, so I spray it all over.
Me: Son, I am serious. That is too much and I am gagging.
Boy: Trust me dad, I know what I'm doing.

When did I become an idiot? That is a rhetorical question people.

Mole People

The other night at dinner, the Girl posed an interesting question, "What happens if a tornado and an earthquake happen at the same time?" As a parent, I just wait for these questions, oh happy day! I've had years to think up the best answers. Here is my response:
"That's easy, honey. You just wait for the ground to rip open and jump into it and the Mole People will carry you to safety." Nobody believed me. It's the FEMA plan, look it up.

Things I learned in Mexico

The wife and I just got back from Mexico, what a great time we had. Many thanks to both of our mothers for watching the kids for us. Here are just of the things I learned while in Mexico:

• Never pay full price for anything.
• Many people selling things there are named "Cheapo Phillipo."
• When you pay in advance for food and drink, you try like hell to get your money's worth.
• Europeans men favor very small bathing suits, I mean seriously, I have skivvies bigger than their bathing suits!
• The only women that go topless are well past their topless years.

More to come later, stay tuned.