Tribute

Well, here it is. The finished product. A tribute, enjoy!

Darcy Lee Finister France

Darcy Lee Finister France
Went to work without any pants
All the women began to yell
The boss called him in and said,

"Well, it appears Mr France
That you've forgotten your pants
Look down sir, per chance
and take a glance
This will certainly affect your performance."

Mr. France looked down
And he started to frown
He wanted to run
Straight out of town

"Company policy clearly states"
The boss went on,
"You can't wear mittens, tutus, or skates.
But you must above all wear bottoms and tops
This just isn't right, I'm calling the cops."

Well, Darcy Lee didn't want to go to jail
He knew that his wife would pay his bail, again
Darcy Lee said, "I left in a rush
I left in a hurry
I'll fix the problem, don't you worry

I'll get some bottoms to go with my tops
Whatever you do, don't call the cops, again."

He ran to the supply room
and closed the door
He grabbed paper, tape, staples and more

He scissored and taped
He stapled and binded
He used all the supplies
He ever could finded

When Darcy stepped out
What a magnificent sight!
The pants were made of paper, bleached white
The staples gleamed in the fluorescent light
He almost looked normal, but really not quite

The boss said, "Nice job, now get back to work.
I don't pay you to stand around and look like a jerk."
So Darcy went back to his desk with a skip
And when he sat down, he heard the sound - RIP!

You know you're old...

We went to a family wedding this weekend, had a great time. My mother, in all her infinite wisdom, said the following:
"Wow, you know you're old when your little brother's kids are getting married."
The Wife: "You mean you didn't feel old having all of your kids married and being a grandmother?"
Mom: "No."
Me: "How about not being able to remember anything, Does that make you feel old?"
Mom: "No."
Apparently, as we age our judgement becomes impaired, along with other things. Something else to look forward to, yay.

Uncle D time

There is a legend, that goes something like this:
Many years ago, a young boy hated his chores. At he appointed time, he ran to the bathroom for an extended stay to get out of his chores. To this day, it is said that his elder sister is still quite bitter about it. This boy will be reffered to as, "Uncle D." in these pages. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

My daughter, referred to in these pages as "the girl." has picked up this habit. We call her out when she does it by saying she pulling an "Uncle D." During dinner tonight, my son got up from the table and walked away. He was asked to return and finish his dinner. His response?
"It's Uncle D time, it's Uncle D time," he said while jumping up and down and clutching his buttocks. He then ran into the bathroom for an extended stay. The legend lives on.

Alert the media

Well, we finally did it, we bought a new computer. This hasn't happened since way back in August of 98. That's right, 1998 was the last time we purchased a computer. Here is an analogy to better understand the significance; it would be just like buying a brand new car in 1972, and driving it everyday to work, the grocery store, etc, and keeping it until the present day. Bill CLinton was the President the last time I bought a computer. Somehow, we become attached emotionally to our possessions. I will miss the hand-crank on the side of the old computer, and the rabbit ears too (the new one doesn't have those features). The Smithsonian Institute asked to have the old one when we're through with it. I told them they will have to be patient as I will move the old one to the basement for use in my office. In the end, they are all just fancy typewriters anyway.