Hormone Day

This is for anyone who has ever dealt with a teen, pre-teen, or tweener.
(sung to the tune of Holiday by Green Day)

Hormone Day

Hear the sound of
My wailing cries
See the tears
Falling from my eyes
In a minute I’ll be fine

I like to scream and holler
In my parent’s ears
This is the dawning
Of my adolescent years
It’s hormone day!

I can laugh
And I can cry
When you ask what’s wrong
I’ll say I don’t know why
My parents tried to use a gag
A plastic bag
On my head today

My moods are swinging wildly
Just like chimpanzees
I can’t control myself
Even if you ask please

The representative from Juvenile Hall has the floor
Don’t be surprised when I act so crazy
It’s an age-old familiar game
I know I’m surly, I know I’m lazy
When you were young, you did the same!

I like to scream and holler
In my parent’s ears
This is the dawning of my adolescent years
It’s hormone day!

Thanks bro

Here is one for my bro-in-law. Sometimes we need a kick in the pants to get back to doing what we love. Thanks bro.

BARE THE BEAR

Have you ever seen a bare bear?
What about a hare hair?
Have you ever seen a tear tear?
How about a stair stare?

I once saw a saw
I can see the sea
I’ve seen the scene
I’d like to be a bee
I have been the bean

Our language is confusing
So utterly amusing
What do you think about
The words I’m profusing?

Would you ever light the light?
Did you ever fight the fight?
Did you ever sight the site?
Would you ever right the rite?
Could you find delight
In the plight
However so slight
And then be contrite
Go off in the night
If you might
Oh, go fly a kite!

Dead ringer

Here is a gem for all the married folk out there.

JUPITER’S RINGS

Dear wife of mine
Please understand
I’m a fun-loving, beer drinking
Simple man

I see your bags are packed
You’re on your way out
Here’s a few words
That I thought about

I love you more than so many things
Like bowling, strippers, and Jupiter’s rings

I love the stuff that you brings
Like, beer, nachos, and onion rings

I didn’t mean all those stupid things
Like missing our anniversary or that little fling

Think back to that day
When I gave you that ring
How big was my smile?
How you made my heart sing
I was light on my feet
Like I could take wing!
If you leave now
To your feet I would cling!

And now my dear wife
I’ve run out of ings
So, on your way out
Could you get me a beer?

Time's a wastin'

My 8 yr. old daughter eagerly awaits the arrival of the first snow. Last week, when it was an unseasonably warm day of 55 degrees, she had her entire snow suit on with a full compliment of hat, gloves, and scarf. When told it was far too warm to dress this way she said, "I wish it would hurry up and snow. I have a lot to do before I die."