Blonde clarification

Here is my sister-in-law's idea of a definition. When asked what a fire storm is, this was her reply:
"Fire storm, is like a fire, storm." She's blonde and we love her.

The Tooth Fairy and the FBI

Our Tooth Fairy has a bad memory. She often forgets to leave the money under the pillow the first night. Once, last year, she brought the money the next morning, after I called and demanded better service. The girl was suspicious of this and took matters into her own hands. The following is a letter she wrote to the FBI: (spelling is actual)
Dear FBI,
Here's a dallor for you. We would like you to check for fingerprints. Send us a list of people and send dallor back!
From,
boy and girl

The following is the response from the "FBI" to the girl's letter: (which arrived one hour after her l;etter went out on a Sunday)
Dear Ms. X,
We received your dollar bill from the Tooth Fairy. We processed the bill in our very expensive crime lab. We even had our highly paid scientists look at it with magnifying glasses and some other scientific machines, some of them making noises like bing, whoop, and good golly miss molly.
Here's what we found. The dollar bill had fingerprints all over it - YOURS! Thank you for wasting our time and tying up highly paid scienists and expensive machines that make noises like clang, heehaw, and wally gobbler.
We do see a promising future for you in law enforcement. Please apply for a job with the FBI when you are old enough.
The FBI

Mice Advice

For those of you with mice problems, listen carefully. Check your taps OFTEN. When we moved out to the country, we knew intellectually there would be some compromises. One of those compromises is that there are more critters to contend with, and sometimes they get in your house. We have been finding mouse poops in the cupboards and set out some glue traps. The wife set one in a cupboard that I didn't know about and I set one in the basement. Well, we neglected to check them for several months. I then noticed a smell, a terrible smell emanating from the cupboard. I found a partially decomposed mouse on the glue trap, gag me with a spoon. I let the wife have it and we laughed about how moronic it is to do that. She felt so put upon that she ran to the basement and checked the other trap, then gloated about the partially decayed mouse there. Check your traps people.