Snakes!

God bless my wife, she loves animals. We've had more pets in this household than most small zoos. In fact, the leopard geckos are a story for another time. However, there are two animals she absolutely cannot stand - mice and snakes.

The other day, while tending to her garden, she saw an old snake skin on a rock. This alerted her to the possible appearance of a snake at any moment. Of course the snake did show up, he was happily living under the solar heater for the pool. She totally freaked. It is important tonote that in our part of the state there are no poisonous snakes. This particular snake was a garter snake (not a gardener snake as it is commonly called by buffoons and morons nationwide).

The wife decides to enlist the assistance of her son to rid her garden of this vile creature. His help consisted of putting on gardening gloves and saying, "Shoo snake, shoo!" As this was highly ineffective, she decided to leave the area and return later.

Upon her return, the snake was nowhere to be seen. Ah, but snakes have camoflauge and can be difficult to detect. My wife then stomps on the ground and says,"Snakes! You get out of my garden snakes! I really mean it!" I didn't have the heart to tell her that snakes don't have ears. I also didn't have a video camera or I could have won some money from one of those cheesy video shows where people do funny things.

(Ed. note - some artistic license has been liberally applied to this accounting of a factual event.)