Rebuttal

It seems that my brother in law has accused me of choking his toilet to a stop during a recent visit. Let me first say that an unusual set of circumstances came together all at once, kind of like the convergence of planets that astronomers refer to. First, my wife used the comode, then my son used it. Anyone who knows my son's bathroom habits knows that he has kept many a plunger maker in bunsiness over his short but storied lifetime. Second, I believe with all my heart that the sewer systems in the southern USA are antiquated and completely inadequate, especially with the change in our diets since the 1700's (which is probably when this particular sewer was constructed). It is true that I have choked many a toilet to a stop in my heyday. However, regular exercise and a more fiberous diet has lead to excellent regularity. Not to mention, this is the same toilet that has been rendered nearly inoperable after swallowing an action figure sometime last year (more on this later). IN summation, although the circumstancial evidence does point to me, further investigation has exonerated me of this crime.